The world is a funny place indeed. Truly blessed are the unaware. I believe now that what you don't know wont hurt you.
This time yesterday i was on a high. All my ideas for my 'This is my life' series were coming back. But right now i am blown.
My mama is sick. Well she has been sick for a while so no news there. I am well able to take the occasional trip to the hospital.
But from what i gather stuvvz is very serious this time.
I don't know what to say. I am in shock. I am still in that tiny bubble that i can feel nothing for now.
I will try to be strong for when the bubble bursts. I hope my shoulders are broad enough to take the load.
Prayer, they say is the key. But what do i tell God? How do i see him being in control for my good? My mum has been sick since 1996. We prayed. We fasted. We believed. NOTHING!!! Except this ongoing condition that goes up and down ocassionally. Sometimes i get so angry.
Who did she ever offend to be in this situation? Where is the reward for her unwavering faith?
How long did Job suffer before God turned his path around?
I am almost beyond that faith in the unseen at this moment. I want to see something. I cant handle anymore.
God give us some sign that we are on the right track here. That our faith in you is justified.
I am just going to crawl into a hole for now.
Hopefully as new days dawn i will find my strength, faith and purpose again.
Sorry to sound so down guys but i ain't myself right now.
Tata.
9 comments:
I really pray for you to have peace at this time. I know what it's like to have someone you really love (a sibling) be ill for years and years until you feel like you're just going through the motions when you pray yet again for healing. But experiencing God's love and peace refreshes you to go on. Yeah,life is crazy sometimes, but God is faithful, even when we're not. All the best.
Please have faith and remember this is when we should praise God the most because the devil hates it and is defeated....all will be well by the grace of God
check out buki81.blogspot.com her mum was ill but is recovering...God has a reason for everything but may she find strength and may we shame the devil Amen
(aramide.blogspot.com)
xxx
Thanks a lot!! I am so trying not to let it weight on me.
@Mona: I do read london buki's blog and it has given me the little strength that's keeping me sane right now.
I will take this as just another test in faith meant to make me a stronger person. I pray i pull through and by God's grace i will.
All in all as casting crowns say 'Praise him in the storm'.
Always remember He has your best interest at heart. Also, of the contancy of His presence; with this 'tis not always easier but, we can confidently take one step after the other.
This burden is far too hard for you to carry. Cast all your cares on the Father. In your weaknesses He is made strong. Don't let the enemy see you discouraged. Your mom will draw strength from you as she sees you hold up during such a trying time.
Thanzanite
Hi,
I myself wouldn’t be into the praying thing much, well usually when something goes wrong in my life I pray making all the promises to him that if he fixes this one I will continue to worship him. However, when things are good, all is forgotten. It’s easier to go with the flow and I tend to lose sight of the things that really matter.
From all your references to God, it sounds like you are blaming him for what has happened to your dearest mother. To me this is unfair as God is without fail or fault. This is a test of you and your mother’s faith in the most holy. Your mother choice a path in life and this is God’s test for her along the way. You must do what you can to help her through it.
Have you spoken to her recently? She herself will put you at ease, even if it is just hearing her voice over the phone if you are not able to see her in person. You need her comfort to keep you going. You are a team!!
Also from the strong willed person you are, you need to give her comfort to continue to and beat this test. Make her feel that you are two not one and give her your strength.
I believe you need to get back to your novel and fight the bursting bubbles and kilo-newtons that are weighting you down.
Put the spring back in your step, have faith in your Mam as she will have your strength to beat this test.
Please take a little comfort in knowing that at this time I am praying for you and your mam. May God will you through this trial!!!
GOD BE WITH U!
THIS IS A TRYING TIME BUT GOD WILL SEE YOU THROUGH
Hey hun..hang in there, i knw it can be tryin when it seems there is no respite from the raging storm..but remember, the only sure anchor is God. He hasn't turned his back on you, and he is faithful is the promise of him in who you have put your trust. All things will work together for good.
let go of the doubt and just trust him...He gave his son, it took a whole lot to do that, so i know it won't cost him much to give your mum the peace you desire for her. It might be late coming through for you, but his time as always is best. rest easy in his unchanging and unfailing love.
Tots mi
unbiased,no one prays for a loved one to be ill but remember we have not a high priest that cannot be moved by the feelings of our infirmity ,God feels ur pain,all will be well just keep having faith,i know its not easy but joy will always come in the morning time all will be well.
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