Just a joke to lighten the day

A Jamiacan Rasta man and his wife are in court getting a divorce. The problem was who should get custody of the child.
The wife jumped up and said, "Your Honor. I brought the child into this world with pain and labor. She should be in my custody." The judge turns to the husband and says, "what do you have to say in the matter?"
The Rasta man sat for a while contemplating...then slowly rose. Your Honor, If I man put a dollar in a vending machine and a Pepsi comes out, whose Pepsi is it...'I and I' or the machine's?


A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside. The Pastor said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!" My friend replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor." Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?" He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service."