BALM TO THE SOUL

I have had my head scrambled lately. I have been making some BIG life decisions and the thoughts are weighing me down.

Have i gone wrong?

Am i making a mistake?

Do my reasons make sense anymore?

Why does the whole world think i am wrong?

I am being dogged.

Do people always have to speak the doubts in your mind? Instead they should trust that you alone make your decisions and as you make your bed so shall you lie on it.

Anyways my escape right now is into the world of entertainment and studies.

In my wanderings i noticed that more videos of Resonance had been posted in you tube so i decided to put them up. I particularly like Judgement day. There is this cool scene with the devil that just brought a smile onto my face. Wow the day is looking up already!!

Anyways if you got time and sound you can watch the videos.

The female artiste is Esther Ebigbo (Who happens to be half caste. In my opinion the best of both worlds. lol!!). She released her album in colloraboration with her boyfriend Uche "Guchiano" Ozoigbo (I hope they are still together. At least for album no 2).

Esther studied psychology and Uche "Guchiano" Ozoigbo studied physiotherapy degee at University of Nigeria, Enugu Campus.

Judgement day

LEE LEE


Holy Ghost Fire


CHINWE IKE

ROOFTOP MC's

It was a wiseman that said that when the sewer pipe bursts, everyone runs for cover. Well the mess certainly rained today and i spent the best part of my morning convincing myself that i was not responsible for the mess.

In trying to get my mood back on track i bumped into the video for shock therapy by the Rooftop MC's. It's really cool. You guys need to watch it. Kunle and Sokleva, Well done boys. Cant wait to get my hands on the new album.

BID ON YOUR FAVORITE CELEB!!!

Before anyone reads on and decides to crucify me let me confess. No be me write this one o!!!

It's a write up from Tosyn Bucknor (The princess and dream behind 'THESE GENES', our hot sickle cell organization). To find out more go to http://www.thesegenes.com/

So,i had been trying to drum attention for this event for so long and i must tell u,i thought it could flop at about 3.40pm when it didn't seem anyone was going to come and some people were cancelling on me, but by 5pm, it was obvious this was going to end a fun evening!

The CELEB AUCTION is one of the fundraisers to support THESE GENES; the Sickle Cell Project. It will go on for the duration of the project so from now till whenever, you can actually bid on ANY CELEB you might want to hang out with. Yeah, ANY!!!

The media launch was held at WAKA RESTUARANT which is on Karimu Kotun (where L'UOMO is).Kunle KB Bello and Shade Ladipo (facebook addicts), started the show by welcoming the guests! Then ROOFTOP MC's got on stage to perform 'La Gi Mo' which you guys need to hear live to understand how great that song is!!

I also got on stage to tell people what sickle cell is; seeing as i live with the disorder, one would think i would know what it was, but i had to do some little research so it would sound professional but not boring.

In my CLOTHSENSE dress, i looked adorable though. LOL!!! After that, Wole Oguntokun, of the THEATRE @ TERRA fame, got on stage as the auction master and explained the bidding procedure. (err.. highest bidder wins? Yeah) So, we sold FUNKE BUCKNOR-OBRUTHE, ASHIONYE, GIDEON, LAMIDE AKINTOBI, and EBUKA off! Yup! Ebuka's was tough oh! I might have tried to bid, i don't remember. (Selective amnesia).

But, you can still get in on the fun! You can bid on RUGGEDMAN, DENRELE, WILDCHILD, BIMBO AKINTOLA, FELA DUROTOYE, FUNMI IYANDA, MO ABUDU, BANTU, and so many other celebrities, by texting your bids!text 'GENES + CELEB = AMT BIDDED + YOUR NAME' to 33056for eg, 'GENES EBUKA 100,000 TOSYN BUCKNOR' to 33056(please try it now. thanks)

Oh, i forgot to mention that i was 'sold' as well. Ha Ha Ha! Anyways, it was a beautiful and classy event with everyone looking casual glam and i have to say thank you to:WILFRED, Waka BarHENRY, +234 MagFUNKE AWOBOKUN, Cocktails In and Out (who provided all those cocktails FREE, and they were beyond delicious), Zapphaire Events, ALL THE CELEBS THAT CAME, CARL RACCAH, KUNLE BELLO, SHADE LADIPO, WOLE OGUNTOKUN, ROOFTOP MC'S, and so many other people whose names i am sure i have forgotten now, but which, thankfully, i could add, as i go along. Enjoy LAMIDE's pictures from the event, and support the sickle cell project!

DRUGS DRUGS DRUGS!!

Are they good or are they bad? There have been so many deaths /news in the last months relating to drugs. There was model Katie French, Ike Turner, Amy Winehouse, Kate Moss just to name a few.

Well the latest death is Heath Ledger. He was the other boy in Broke back mountain but most will remember him for 'A knights tale' or 'The brothers Grimm'. At the tender age of 28 it seems a little unrealistic abi?

Heath was found dead with precription sleeping pills nearby. There has been talk that he wasnt sleeping more than two hours a night due to stress so it is likely that his death is a mistake due to exhaustion and insomnia. Until the autopsy is done we wont know but all we can do is pray for those he left behind.

I would like to sit in his shoes and find out what he was thinking. Were the drugs the problem or was there something in his life he wished to escape from for only a few minutes. Was it a mask for his pain. Most people say they get into drugs (prescription or hard) just to boost their spirits in a time of low. But then they forget that the thing is addictive and that is where their lives take a down turn.

Like all addictions it needs to be handled carefully. Most other addictions don't kill as fast as drugs which is why their press is not as bad. In times of crisis some turn to nicotine, others alcohol and for some surprisingly sex. I guess when you are down it is the decisions you make that can affect your whole life.

Do you go to your true friends to weather the storm, do you go to church to get that special pick me up or do you get a quick fix it in other ways. Well the choice is up to you but think before you act is all I'll say.

Anyways on a lighter note call me razz or what ever i am so in love with No lele from Dekunle Fuji. Bobo has come a long way from those unilag runs. lol!! So i am putting the video up. If you like shout, 'Unbiased old news'. WHATEVER!!



I cant stand going to youtube all the time so i reserve the right to have some of my favorite videos on my own blog so i am adding Olori oko by infinity to the mix. lol!! (Like i needed to defend myself).

SHOULD HE GO?

The latest gist my gbeborun ears have heard is that the heart throb of the ER, George Clooney has been designated U.N. "messenger of peace" to promote U.N activities. In the footsteps of Jolie some might say but i wont even go there. lol!! Anyways Congrats George!!

The thing that really did set me to thinking is that Militants in Nigeria's restive oil region on Saturday invited actor and peace activist George Clooney to visit the area and asked for U.N. intervention in their conflict.

Would you go?

"Mr. Clooney, MEND ( Movement for the Emancipation of the Niger Delta) extends an invitation to you to see things for yourself and is willing to work with you and other credible peace makers of international repute to stop Nigeria from plunging into the abyss of war," the group said in a statement e-mailed to reporters.

Mo gbe!! I never knew that some people were planning another Biafra o!!

Nearly 200 foreign workers have been kidnapped in the region in the past two years; they normally are released unharmed after a ransom is paid. So why this sudden 'cry for help'? I personally don't trust it. Do you?

I think it is something the U.N office in Nigeria should look at. That way it will be people of local knowledge trying to solve a problem not a complete international 'georgie just come'.

Anyways we jump the gun i think in this matter because neither George nor the U.N has made any statement concerning the demand. We'll just keep watching as the matter unfolds.

THE SUN RISES AGAIN

I feel sort of blue today so the reason for my text colour. My feelings today are of guilt. The sun rises again and everything proceeds as normal like some great tragedy never occurred.

Takes me to the time of the 'war' when people in other parts of the world carried on like everything was normal.

It reminds me of someone begging on the streets and a multitude of people moving about uncaring like he/she is invisible.
It takes me back to the time a trailer cleared 5 cars off the road and because our car was unaffected we drove on thanking God it was not us.

So many thought moving through my head. Do i let go of the pain? Is it right to do so? See me that i am talking like a dumboro sef? Move on? That decision can only be taken when the pain actually decides to let go of it's strong grip on my heart. I am certain that as the sun rises and sets so shall this too pass sha.

I just wish i didn't feel so guilty about being on the road to healing and getting on with life. Has anyone ever felt this? Can you tell me how to feel okay about getting out of the blues? Do i appear like i have forgotten when i move on?

I really don't know but as i said time will tell. It's all on the journey of healing. Maybe some good old gossip news will distract me so i am off to get some.

All thats in the news this morning is that Ike Turner died of a drug overdose (@ that age?). Too sad.
Bella my dear gist-pill supplier has some news on the future awards so i am off to read on that. Hopefully the rest of Blogsville will have updated and thereby contribute to my healing heart.

WHO DO YOU BLAME?

Usually when something goes wrong, if it is our fault or not we blame the devil. We all (Christians, Muslims, pagans and all) seem to blame everything negative on this fallen angel. It's almost like giving props to the wrong person!!!!
Cant you blunder, ask for forgiveness and move on? Taking the blame for our actions could really clean up the world. Maybe because then we will be rethinking what we do.

Well that is not even what is in my craw today. I am in confusion basically. I have been a christian all my life and never really saw the use in questioning God on issues because you really cant be sure about what catastrophe was avoided by the stumbling block in your way. Right?


Well today my feelings are WRONG!!!
I feel sad as hell. Like i got whipped like a mongrel. See my dad's cousin died late last week and i only just found out. It took a whole 24hrs for me to crack and crack big time it is.

Wonderful man who loves God like crazy. It seemed to me that all he did was live and breathe God. He was someone i thought of and a grin came to my face.

Well now he's gone and buried. Why? He's got a toddler and new born baby. How will they cope? I try to imagine how his wife feels (by mentally stepping in her shoes) but the pain is too great so i take a step back. So this brings me back to the topic of my post. Who do you blame?

Do i dare to question God in his sovereignty? Or do i say it's the devil's work?
Do i ask God why he could not apply the principles of Job to him and spare his life? Or is this a test for his wife? Do i? Do i?

I really don't know. I find myself questioning the meaning of life and the purpose to which we were all created. Was it to leave a mark in this world and if so why? We are born, grow up, work to be the best we can be, die and leave an example for the ones coming behind who will do exactly the same thing? Why do i feel like i am on a never ending circle?

Asking all these questions really doesn't do squat does it? I guess it is a wise person that said time heals all wounds. Let's see if time will heal mine. I have promised myself that indeed i will not dwell but move on from this pain and tragedy.

Who knew that when we prayed to see the new year we should have been praying far far ahead instead? If this truly is some grand plan that my feeble human brain cant comprehend so be it.
All i ask for is Grace that if i offend the eternal Almighty in my pain HE (Jesus) who has endured all will intercede on my behalf.

Hopefully tomorrow i will be back to my normal self. Sorry Blogsville for casting this shadow today. To those who actually did comment on my previous post after my 'Harass', so sorry but the shoe was pinching me. Na so i yan say i want comment.

The holiday story...4

I really wanted to do some holiday gist but there is stuff i need to get out my system first.

Why do well meaning people end up hurting you?
Why do people start sentences with i am not choosing sides when their next words and attitude are just the exact opposite?
Why is it that when you are sensitive about certain subjects and decisions, people get angry when you don't want to talk it out or take their advice?
There are two sides to a coin. Why is it that people don't really see that he that cast the stone in a glass house is cut by the same glass?

I feel that mistakes are meant to be made sometimes and only time can reveal your mistakes to you. You learn from them. Someone once told me that some mistakes are so grave then can make you suicidal.
What? Are you high? It takes more courage to end your life than to actually live it you know? Maybe i am wrong but i often thought that God didn't let me have some illnesses cause i am too squeamish to handle them. Imagine unbiased giving herself an insulin shot? uhh never!!!! lol!! I can even look when i am giving blood or i will start heaving and go into hysterics. lol!!So it is official. No matter what i go through in this life NOTHING absolutely NOTHING can make me join the suicidals. (I just had to make that clear before someone goes and misinterprets me).

Enough of my ranting anyways. We were talking naija holiday abi? The next day in my journey was church. Let me start by saying i have been an usher since secondary school so it is a given that i am relatively well known in church. I have never knelt down so much in my life.

As in after a while, i wanted to stay on my knees so when the next person comes i won't have to go down again. I know that i lost 2kg that day. Not to say church wasn't uplifting and all but i was happy to go home. lol!!

The rest of the day was spent in rest and planning for the next day. I got a call from angel fish who was travelling for Xmas and had only the next day free for lunch so we set a date. I also had to chase my lifesaver of a tailor to hook me up for the engagement and wedding that week. After all it's not as if i could tie the material around me like a wrapper.

The next day came with much excitement and heat. From the tailor who was suppose to deliver my 2 garments by the next morning i headed off to the island. (From this you will have gathered that i don't live on the island).

I first proceeded to my old office. I don't know what pulled me there. A certain curiosity to see if there were any changes or what my life might have been like had i stayed. On getting there i took to the stairs.

'Third floor', i thought. Well i guess it's time to get fit for free.
The door opened as i got there and to any outsider i looked like a girl resuming for work at lunch time. No different. Hmmmmmm i thought and proceeded to go and look for awon eniyan mi (my personal people).

I stopped first at the MD's office and 'uncled' him to death. (Funny enough he actually is my uncle in a round about way o) lol!! We talked about a lot of things, weather, changes in practises, accomplishments, hopes and aspirations, the list goes on and on.

He was so much easier to talk to. Was it because i no longer worked for him? I really don't know but i was glad for it. I went to say hi to everyone else and proceeded to leave and bumped into Mona.

Small world you say. It was nice meeting her. I have only seen her once before so it was like a first meeting again. Calm female i must say. I am usually so animated and want all life has to give at that moment. She is a quieter breed. Watching, looking and learning before she jumps.

Anyways i would have loved to stay and talk about my reintroduction to 'Ikoyi club' suya and barbecue fish but i have a visa appointment now and need to get my ass in gear before i miss it.

So tata and all,

You people that come here sef? I get profile counter o!! Na so so invisible visitors i just dey get for my blog. Abeg leave me a line sometimes. Even if it is just 'Hi'. Thank you.

The holiday story...3

First night in renewed territory. I was gladly welcomed by NEPA or whatever it is they are calling themselves these days.

During the 'thanksgiving prayer' the power just went off. I caught myself before i said DAMN instead of Amen. lol!!At the end of the prayer dad just kindly tells me that it's 11.30pm now. The power usually comes back by 1am.

A cold shower later, i lay naked upon my bed with a hand fan for comfort. At precisely 1am in my housecoat, i march to my father's door and say through the door..

'Dad!! There is still no light'.
'Give it time dear. Wait till 2'.

I could not believe it. So began the routine of conversation till 4am when i decided to let my dad sleep in peace. At exactly 5am the power came on and i was able to sleep in total peace at a familiar temperature.

In fairness it could have been worse. At least there were no mosquitoes singing in my ears. lol!!
The next day was Sunday. We all know what that means right? CHURCH. That long sleep of mine was not meant to be cause i was up by 8am to get ready for church. That was another experience that is note worthy.

I really wish i could write more today but unfortunately i am soo tired out. Sorry dears. I will try to do better to get this all out soon. Two weeks never seemed so full.

Asha

One of the things i noticed on the streets of Lagos were the cd's that everyone seems to be selling. There was TY Bello, Lara George, Infinity and Asha.
Imagine my surprise to go into Tesco last night and there it was Asha's Fire on the mountain playing. I felt like shouting, 'WE ARE BOTH NAIJA BABES'. lol!! Anyways i couldn't resist putting up the video .

The holiday story...2

Part 2 of the holiday journey. Hmmm lets name it 'The arrival'.

The door to the plane opens and immediately my mind flashes to my gas heater back home. The air was so hot and humid immediately my eyes began to itch and my throat tightened up.
Had i truly grown up in this? The body is a wonderful thing.

As i got out of the plane, i saw my cousin waiting. I could literally have kissed her. I was like a child being born. Nothing seemed familiar except her and so to her i clung like a new born and listened as she showed me the way.

The queues were just a very strange joke. In which country is the citizens queue longer than the foreigners? Nigeria that's where!!! After like 20minutes i was able to get cleared into the country. My country. The country of my birth. If i thought that was bad, i was wrong. It was like i stepped into a different world. The place was like i remembered Eko market. Hot, crowded, people everywhere shoving and pushing. The trolleys i heard had to be paid for but lucky for me my cousin had that sorted out. Say hallelujah somebody!!!

Needless to say it took 2hrs for the baggage to finally arrive. I had someone to gist with so my tears stayed behind my eyelids. lol!! At exactly 11pm i made my way out of baggage claim and on to the loving arms of my dad who had been waiting patiently for 2.5hrs.

We got home, prayed to thank God for the safe journey and then began phase 2 of 'Nightmare on Elm street'. Stay tuned till tomorrow for the update.

Land of the Free and the home of the....

SOMETIMES DENSE. When the show ' AMERICA'S DUMBEST CRIMINALS' aired, i began to wander. Are there really people that stupid in this life? Is it the air they breathe or their environment that makes them think they can get away with anything? Or do some of the people just live in a bubble?

I came to a conclusion. Same as naija, the US of A has an overpopulation problem. Only when there are too many people can the stupid really be in high numbers. Think of it as 1 in 10 over millions.

Okay okay enough raving and ranting already. The gist is that 2 men ages 65 wheeled their dead colleague to a store to cash his $355 Social Security check. We are not talking thousands here o!! And this occurred in broad daylight where they were very visible. They could not even do a good job of covering the man's body cause he was visible dead to anyone who cared to glace. At their age!!!!! Ki no wo ro? (What were they thinking?).

The men, both 65, were petty criminals with long histories of heroin addiction and arrests dating to the 1960s. Has the long drug use fried their brains and given them a sense of alternate reality?

The story was just tooo weird for words and i thought it deserved a mention. My own is that although i am not judging, people should stop accusing naija people of fraud and all cause i have not heard of a naija person taking a dead body to go and claim money (Especially such an amount which is basically unworthy of any crime). We have our own kurukere in the closet but i don't believe we are that bad.

All nationalities, black, red, green, or blue all have their bad eggs. Can we stop concentrating on these bad ones and look to the good? Let's begin to see how much we in our differences have contributed to the world.

Well i am off to return for my holiday update 2. Unbiased over and out. lol!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRANDPAPI

Today my grand daddy is 86years old. Neat right? Cant believe it. For as long as i have known he has been that quiet often unseen wind in my sails.

He is a man to admire. I can only hope to accomplish like a third of what he has in his life. I wont even stupidly think i can compete with the kind of legacy he has put down.

One thing i do know is that what ever he expects of me, he has done it all so i cant gripe about it. Instead i push on to achieve more.

So to the man in my life who is one in a billion,

Grandpa Happy Birthday!!!
Love you loads!!!
I am looking forward to painting the town red on your 90th Birthday party. lol!!!

The holiday story...1

How do i start to tell the holiday tale? I really don't know so I'll start at the beginning. The first domestic flight that took me to heathrow was normal and uneventful. Heathrow terminal 4 was a totally different ballgame. There started the madness of shopping. By the time i was done, my arms were bulging with heavy bags.

On to my gate i went like a good girl. My shopping craze fully satisfied. As i reached my gate i heard this familiar voice shout in a British accent, 'It's a lie'. I look up and there were my 3 cousins waiting at the boarding gate to get on to my flight. What a delightful way to begin.

Unfortunately our seats were nowhere near each other but i took comfort in the fact that i was not going to be alone during the long process of customs and baggage claim on the other end.
2hrs into the flight 'British Airways' decided to mess up.
'Due to some problems with some seats, we need to reboot the entertainment system', said the air hostess.
'What?'. Reboot ke?

Long and short of it was 2hrs of nothing to do. In that time i got talking to a pretty female who sat next to me. On her way home for her introduction, she was bubbling over with joy. Small, kind, cute and gentle is the way i would describe her. It took me a while to decipher the look of pain that kept crossing her face from time to time. After a while i just had to ask. Her words were a serious shock. She said, I am SS and my drugs are in my luggage in the overhead area. I have never jumped so fast in my entire life to get her drugs. Based on that i will get on board with Tosyn Buknor's Gene Project.

Tomorrow you hear about my experience upon landing. Harrowing is too mild a term. Till tomorrow sha.

I AM BACK

I am back and very glad of it too. So much has happened in 3 weeks blogville. I have decided to get it all in a series. I will be coming back to update later. Happy new year everyone. It looks promising. As the vicar said at the watch night service. May you not carry excess baggage that will weight you down into the new year.