This is my life........................6

So let's get back on track and away from the past. I woke up the next morning after having all sorts of dreams about Akin as i mentioned in entry 4. (Sorry don't know how to back link to it. Someone please help).

Okay so i look at my schedule and damn i have Dr. Esubiyi this morning. Damn that womanizing ass.

It is a major production any time i gotta go to his class. It is like some serious acting and his lectures are as boring as fishing. He spends more time eyeing up his next bed mate than actually teaching. He likes them big too. Just anything big really. Ass, jugs, hips, the list goes on and on.

I am chest blessed but a little ass challenged. So after bathing i bring out my 3 rolls of bandage to tame my unruly chest. I mean i am 5'5 and skinny as a rake with a chest that Latifah would be proud of. Hell no!! I ain't going to drop for no mad man.

The man fit gimme all sorts of disease sef and he ain't fine at all. Like a cross between Freddy Krueger, Papa Ajasco and bride of Chucky.
Hell no!!!! Don't tell me i am paranoid, childish or self centered because my wall flower act is working. Stuff it.

On the way to class, i hooked up with shade and we went together.

Look sisi better stop your madness now. By the time we get to year 3 it wont work o!!! People like you make it hard for us to study and pass on merit. Were ashewo!!!!

What? Ohh she is talking to Princess not me. Shade leave the girl alone.

That good for nothing prostitute. Cross bred between a mammy water and wizard. and the dumb thing has a higher GP than me. I has straight A's in SSCE o!!! Instead of lecturers to go for her they will pick on innocent people like me. I am going to drop her name in all the fellowships on campus that she is a cult girl so they can preach to her.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh another Shade tantrum. By some divine power i calmed the girl down and even made it through the lecture.

I just wanted to eat and sleep.
I was never so happy to see moremi hall. Imagine my shock to see a familiar face standing by the gate.

AKIN!!!!!! (Whops. did i say that out loud? Damn i'm slipping).

Hello Shani.

Don't you have work or is your job stalking females these days?

When they are as beautiful as you? Yeah. I took the day off. I've been here waiting for you to walk by for the last 3 hrs.

So you want a medal?

Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa damn!!! He laughs. Cut a guy some slack. You are castrating me here.

I told you to call me. Not hunt me down like some animal.

Okay i am sorry for coming on too strong for you. Let's wind back. Would you please give me your number and I'll call you as promised.

I don't even know your last name.

And i wont tell you. A guy gotta have his own mysteries as well (That twinkle in his eye is so sexy).

I burst out laughing. 0803415xxxx.

Sorry that was too fast.

I don't give my number twice.

Hmmmmm i think i caught it. Rough day?

Yeah rough day. I am sorry for chewing the hell out of you. I'll talk to you later. Nice meeting you again.

Poor stud!! Little did he know that the embarrassment of him seeing me looking so scrubbish was what was riding me. Damn my rep.

Anyhow it didnt seem to phase him. He called 2hrs later and we are going out tomorrow. I don't know where but he is picking me up at noon. I promise to let you know what happens. I am so excited.

© 2007 by Unbiased, All Rights Reserved

This is my life........................5

Speaking of faith and prayer, I just wanted to let you all know. I don’t really believe in God. Before you shout like mad, hear my reason o!! I haven’t always been this way.

I was a bonafide strong christian at some point in my life. An experience i had made me this way.

I remember the day i gave my life. Uncle Deji invited my brother and i to church. Since getting to Nigeria i have never been awed by ‘church’ as i was that day. From the ushers by the door, down to the choir members and everyone i saw. I was awed. I wanted to be them. What ever they had that made them so cool, i wanted that.

By the time Pastor Paul came on to the pulpit i was a convert. I gave my life to Christ that very same day. Suddenly it was the in thing to be a Christian. I had found my home.

But something happened to me. Please don’t judge me. It wasn’t my fault. I was attending JAMB lessons like anyone else. I went to buy a snack down the road because i skipped breakfast.

A green Toyota stopped beside me. This guy in a suit popped his head out of the window and said ‘Sorry to disturb you aunty but i am looking for a conference centre. I am a Ghanaian preacher here for a conference and it seems my driver is lost. Could you please gimme directions?’

I don’t know anywhere here and haven’t heard of a conference’ i said. Sorry can’t help you.
On my way back the same car stopped once more beside me. The man said, ‘the conference is somewhere on Adeniyi Jones in Ikeja. 'Get in the car and take me there.

That was it. I lost total control of my body and actions. I was like a spirit hovering and shouting to my body to take control back from this man but i wasn’t strong enough. The long and short is they were robbers and asked me to take them to my house. They asked who would be home and i told them my brother. I had 5 mins to get him out or he was dead.

I entered the house like a ghost. I told Tyrone that i was really sick and felt like eating Gala. The only shop that sold it was a 20mins walk from the house so he was really pissed. He refused at first but caved in when i started getting hysterical.

After robbing the whole house they took me with them once more. My spirit screamed, prayed, cursed. All to no avail. After raping my entranced body, they dumped me under the overhead bridge between ojota and ketu. I was like a zombie or a mad person.

A woman was walking by and she saw me. She walked up to me and asked me where i lived. ‘Alapere’ i said. My first words of my own violation. She walked me to ketu and put me in a bus. She paid the conductor and gave him a tip to make sure he got me off at the right bus stop.

On getting home, everyone looked so glad to see me. I felt so worthless, so used and abused. Why are you happy to see me?
I have given away all your valuables.
You should hate me.
Instead they accepted me with open arms and no questions asked. My family were not Christian but they gave me the unconditional love it took to heal.
God wasn’t there for me. When i cried throughout the ordeal for salvation where was he?
If he were real he would have done something right?
For days i raged about this but then i moved on.
I never went back to church. I felt all i might get would be pity. This was no testimony. I never really heard anyone in church confess to anything bad at all.
They would think it were me who did something to invite the ordeal.
For me to believe again i will need some proof from the man himself and an apology for my pain and suffering.
Please don’t judge me. My reasons are understandable.
So now my skeletons are out enough of this talk.

Let’s get back to Akin....................................

This is my life........................4

Shani?? That’s unusual. I take it Shani is short for something. Listen I don’t want to come on all strong or bullshit you but I really would like to get to know you. Can we go somewhere quiet for dinner?

I was ecstatic. I wanted to shout ’yes!!’ immediately. But I had to let him see me think about it. No use giving him the impression that I run off with just any man or I am easy.
A voice beside me startles me out of my thoughts.

Hi Honey!! Sorry I am late arriving. I’ve been looking for you for like forever.

It takes me like a minute to recognize the voice. My sister from another mother. Shade. She must have walked in and just decided to play the situation by ear. I was so terrified. I didn’t know what she would do. The girl is crazy like that.

‘And you are?’ She says with a smile.

Akin.

Ohh I am sorry but my girl ain't going anywhere with you tonight. (Hun? Are you mad?)
We already have plans (Since when).
You can have her number and call her up for a proper date. (Queen Pimp!! Who died and made you my daddy ehhh Shade you mad mad bitch. At this stage i am ready to kill her).

Uhhhhmmm Uhhhhmmm!!!! (I clear my throat noisily) I can speak for myself. Akin this is Shade my main girl. Shade this is Akin.

I know. He told me.

'How do I get out of this mess with my dignity intact', I think rapidly.

Like I was saying before some people arrived I said with a care free laugh. I really have plans for tonight but I’ll take a rain check on that. Call me sometime.

But I don’t have your number.

‘Prove to me how resourceful you are and get it’ I said with this glint in my eyes that promised heaven and hell. What we were each saying with our eyes? I was breathing like I had been on a 10 mile run. That was some heavy foreplay. It took a heavy shove from shade to break me out of it. I smiled at him again and left the club with her.

As I fell asleep that night, I dreamt of all the things those hazel eyes had promised.

If reality is half as good as dreams?.................................. then I hereby say my 1st prayer in a long time. God I hope he got my number and was interested enough to call. I also pray for self control that I might not rape him when (notice my faith?) I see him again.

© 2007 by Unbiased, All Rights Reserved

This is my life........................3

O my goodness!!! People I have suffered.
Want to know what’s worse than a mummy’s boy?
Haaaaaaaa a family poser. And to think I thought of naughty things for tonight. That BOY killed my groove.
Now I definitely know the difference between an aristo and a ‘graduate poser. Let me give you a bit of what I had to put up with.
‘Did you know my dad is Prince Xxxxxxxxx?’ (So bloody what?)
‘My dad owns x company, y company, etc’ (Na your own)
‘My mom is a big society woman ‘(How does that change mariere bread and egg)
My brother is doing his masters in ‘Harvard’ (Stupid boy you nko?)
‘My sister is married to xxxxxxxx’ (idiot, have you done nothing with your life?).

Honestly the BOY lives at home, drives his fathers’ cars, pretends to work in his father’s company and basically lives off the reputation of his family members. Grow up dude. I don’t want to be daddy dependent. Go get a whore you can pay to love you with daddy’s money.

At least I had a good time no thanks to the olori buruku that took me out. There I was bored stiff then I spotted this ‘Morris chestnut’ look-alike.
'Damn this ain’t the movies' I said as i shook my self. That boy was fyneeeeeeeeeeee. I started have hot flushes all over and I am LIGHT skinned. If I wasn’t careful, I would show a blush (God forbid).

So I began to plan strategy to get rid of my unwanted attachment. I told baby boy that I wasn’t feeling well and my cousin was in the club so he’d take me home. Stupid bobo didn’t even have a problem or ask me anything reinforcing my opinion of him.

I walked slowly towards the stud never breaking eye contact and walked right by him to the bath room. lol!!! Hence the cat and mouse game began.

The main rule is get yourself noticed and let him be man enough to do something about it.
I took my time to freshen up in there so I was looking my best. Not too much lip gloss (Babes it is disgusting to kiss a guy and have smudged sticky lip gloss between you).

I came out and went to the bar noticing that baby boy had fled the scene. As I turn around with my drink there is ‘Morris’ right behind me so close we were exchanging air. If took a deep breathe i would graze with chest. Haaaaaaaa that is one of those moments you describe as orgasmic. My drink nearly dropped.


He opens those perfect lips and says, ‘I am sorry for bumping into you like that. My name is Akin. What’s yours?’ That was it people. I totally blanked out for all of 3 seconds. Sharp babe like me. Lol!! 'O really' I say with one eye brow up. My name is Shani. And so the mating (oh sorry dating) ritual began.

© 2007 by Unbiased, All Rights Reserved

This is my life.......................................2

ROFWL!!! I was going through my diary and came about this crazy addition. I really felt I was going to die. Looking back on it now I know I can really survive anything.



EXCERPTS FROM MY DIARY.
I am dead. Ma life such as it is, is over. Nothing will ever be the same. I am going to be kidnapped, made a slave, eaten, or God know what else. Damn that never seen father of mine has ruined my life. In fact I ain't sure he’s my dad. Maybe I can get on the ‘MAURY’ show and get a DNA test done. I am royally screwed. Just after life was finally jellying. I can’t see beyond my tears right now diary. All I know is that I will return in one month from today if you are not stolen from me and I am still alive.

Okay enough with the suspense. I will tell you why I felt like going on a rampage I understand the situation better now and can make a decent explanation. You see the only way my mom could stay and work was by keeping her student visa active which is why the woman is always in school.

My dad was like kinda one of those ghost residents of the state that don't really exist on paper. Well the guy got tired of doing odd jobs and calmly walked in one day and said we were all moving back to the village. (Village ke? You see why I wanted to die. The man for say Lagos now? At least if I Google it something will come up). He thought it was funny to scare the shit out of us.

Imagine from a whole united states to ‘OKEAGBE’. Ondo people please don’t be mad. That was the first I ever heard of it and it sounded primitive. But I digress again.

Back to pop abi? Secretly I think the straw that broke the camel’s back was Uncle Deji (Pop’s younger brother) who at the mere age of 32 was getting a chieftaincy title (in recognition of all the money he spent tushing the village or should I say town up). Pop felt like such an underachiever. The land of milk and honey was no longer that (not without the right to work anyway). It was time to go home, hustle, chase ‘contract’, buy house and be the big man God promised him he will be (with uncle Deji showing him the way sha – no time for shakara in this o).

But haba I felt he should at least have left us while he came to ‘pour water on the ground’. Instead we all had to suffer together. Hmmmmmmm the stories I could tell you will kinda chill you bones. See this hungry people. I am not telling yet. I choose to go to more humorous things right now. After all I am now a Lag babe.

Unilag actually. I don’t know who uncle deji paid to get me here o!!! I thought for sure I was doing diploma. But out of nowhere my name came out on the list. Architecture!!!!!!! People I wanted to be a nuclear scientist. First black babe on Mars and all.
Well since I didn’t get that I waited one year and moved to chemical engineering. At least it is shorter and I can get to play with rocket fuel later. I love chemical. Not so demanding or maybe I haven’t reached that stage yet.
I wish I could tell you more but I need to go get dressed. I got a date (wink wink) tonight. If he treats me good you never know where we might just end up.

Talk to you soon. Tata.

© 2007 by Unbiased, All Rights Reserved

This is my life...........................1

Hi, My name is Shaniqua. Don't ask me what that mean? I don't even think my parents spelled it right. They were trying to give their child a nice 'Black American' name. Connect to the 'motherland' and all. What the HELL??!!!!
My parents are Nigerian!!!
Why couldn't i get a proper name like Sola, Kike, Ibukun, Tunmishe, etc. My poor brother got saddled with Tyrone. The poor young man (I say this shaking my head).
My childhood was mega weird i swear.
I never knew what my parents did, my dad was never around much. My mum was always in school and working (Poor woman). I was never hungry or anything but that was not the problem. I needed some bloody protection. I didn't want to have to look after myself. But anyways needs must and no need to cry 'bout the past now.

Getting home from school was always a nightmare. As bad as we had it my mum spent every penny to make sure my bro and I went to a 'posh' school. BLOODY HELL!!! I am a poor black kid in a posh school!! I ain't got nothing to pose with except my blackness. But i digress. We will come back to that later. Imagine the trip from school. On the bus you just watch the whole neighbour hood change from posh to ghetto.
It's like night and day. Everyone is like a zombie. Just going through the motions and not caring about what is happening around them. I stare straight ahead or at the ground when i am walking. I ain't gonna catch nobody in the eye!! (That alone will guarantee you at least a sound beating).
I made a point to stop half way home to get changed in the nearest fast food joint so i ain't wearing my uniform in my neighbourhood. (I could get kill for such foolishness).
I lead a double life. One for my posh friends from 9-1pm and another for the rest of the day with my friends from the neighbourhood. My best friend is called kiki (I always tease her that it sounds like a dogs name and all but she don't mind no more).

I am 21 right now and this is the story of my life. I will try as much as possible not to be random and jump around like mad but somethings need to be said.

© 2007 by Unbiased, All Rights Reserved