ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST

I am so sorry bloggy darling.I have been dreading coming to talk to you. I didn't know what to say. I have been so mixed up about mummy gone. She has been like air to me. Always there and necessary.
So much so i must have just taken it for granted she would always be there.
Who will calm my nerves at my wedding?
Who is going to hold my hand when i am in labour with my first child?
Who will give child raising tips? Who will be there when i need advice?
I can no longer crawl in her bed when i need a comforting presence.
So to all the motherless children out there i will tell you what i discovered. God will do all those things.

He taught me something yesterday. As i was coming home i had this desperate pressure in my stomach and intestines. But i was 45 minutes drive away from home. By 25 minutes away i was sweating and shaking with the cramps. (Don't be grossed out you know what i am talking about. lol). Then i prayed that God keeps me till i see a loo and low and behold i see a filling station (15minutes from home).
I stopped my car prepared to ask for a loo and the pain and aching stopped suddenly so i took a leap of faith. I started my car again and continued on my way home. The cramped started again but i made it home.
That just showed me that when you are on a journey somewhere, it may be painful and seem like God is not responding to you but he is. Dont stop striving for what you want because you think you've found something manageable. God only wants the best for us.

Anyways i have been so busy and stressed lately. My Granpa (Daddy's dad) died like 3 weeks after mum died. Daddy has been so devastated. The responsibilities he inherited are humongous him being the first son and all. I worry about him and pray for him though. God wont make me an orphan that i know.

So now i have to go to naija for Grandad's funeral. But isn't that too many trips? Mum's funeral, grandad's funeral, xmas, mickey's wedding? Sigh. Not sure if i am doing them all. Time, finance and God will tell.

Ohhhhhhhhhhh and on a good note, i got my dress for mickeys wedding!!!! It's not brown but blue. What do you think?



Also Celebrity takes 2 is on again!! I am not sure if with all the travelling and funerals i can blog it all but i trust Linda Ikeji and Bellanaija to keep you posted.

Tata!! Xoxo!!

GOODBYE MAMA

Mama Unbiased died on the 15th of September 2009 (Aged 60).
How do i feel? Shocked!!

I remember her ready smiles followed by that quiet chuckle.

I remember taking my birthday cakes for granted because I knew she would always bake them herself and they'd always be the best.

I remember her smooth hairless skin and wandering why mine was so hairy.

I remember how secretly happy she was when I got scared in my own room and crawled into her bed at night.

I remember her teaching me how to cook and keep the kitchen spotless at the same time.

I remember standing in her room with the temperature at 2 degrees and freezing.

I remember her amazing decorating skill and wandering if I could match up.

I remember playing with her makeup, clothes and shoes.

I remember her days of camping out at the hospital every time I was sick.

I remember the tender care I got when I had chicken pox or that nasty boil at the back of my neck.

I remember nicking her ‘Bring down the glory’ cassette by Panam Percy Paul.

I remember days of long conversation and debates on just about anything.

I remember her strong unwavering faith in the face of opposition.

I remember how I learnt the littlest things just by watching and wandering if I could fill her shoes.

I remember being really proud of her and thinking that just by association her accomplishments were mine.

I remember the littlest and biggest things in a flash. It overwhelms me. It scares me. Is she gone? I am told she is on holiday and I will get to see her someday?

Is that true? Will I? What do I do between now and then?

And then I remember her favourite psalm. Psalm 121.

I look to the hills! Where will I find help? It will come from the LORD, who created the heavens and the earth. The LORD is your protector, and he won't go to sleep or let you stumble. The protector of Israel doesn't doze or ever get drowsy. The LORD is your protector, there at your right side to shade you from the sun. You won't be harmed by the sun during the day or by the moon at night. The LORD will protect you and keep you safe from all dangers. The LORD will protect you now and always wherever you go.

Chronicles of My Birthday

12.00 am

Wow!! I woke up at 12am to what?

It's a bird,

It's a plane,

It's a birthday,

Nope it's a diarrhea or the polite word purging.

6.00am

5 times? Are you kidding me. Could you not let me sleep o useless bowels of mine?

Now i gotta get up and get ready for work. Ohh the cramps. sob sob

I then weigh myself thinking i gotta have lost weight in the middle of the night.

Imagine!! After all that s**ting i gain a pound. A whole pound!! Purging can't even be useful sef.

8.00am

At work replying all them facebook greetings. So many. I feel the love but Jesus could my gift be healing from these cramps and purge. Please!!

I have hardly got any sleep.

12.08pm

Purging has stopped after 3 slices of Whole meal bread with strawberry jam. But i am so craving KFC right now it is unreal. sigh. And i have to work? In the middle of the birthday mails and facebook messages?

At least i am loved sha so the day is looking up. I wonder what 'Dark Chocolate' is up to right now?

12.41pm

Surprise!! Dark Chocolate sent me a dozen Pink Roses and a dozen burgundy carnations. wow!! I am on cloud nine now. I love my Dark Chocolate!!!

05.34pm

I have spent the whole day on facebook tearing up at the outpouring of love. The phone has been ringing off the hook and text messages been flying but i am suddenly filled with a fit of sadness.

Where did the year go? What did i accomplish? The darn recession has put a lot of my plans on hold. I feel like i am in a time warp and just waiting until someone (God?) presses the play button in my life again.

I feel like it was almost a wasted year i can never get back.

I feel like everyone moved on and i am still standing in the same spot.

I do not feel special.

This day does not feel special.

It is just a day like any other with unusually high facebook and phone activity. It might improve. God i hope so.

At the end of the day sha no matter how sad i feel i will still PRAISE!! Because i know my victory is in my Praise. I know that like Joseph God has only been preparing me for the bast which is yet to come!!

Going back to work now. So much to do since i spent the whole day on communication activity.

6.30pm

Gotta get to sister Bunmi's house to get my hair done. Please let my phone stop ringing long enough for me to drive!! Thank Goodness there is no network signal in her house.

9.30pm

That was fast and my hair looks lovely. Phone again. Awwww Dark Chocolate's mum. And mine hasn't called? Okay a call to mum now.

Who is this calling now? Dark Chocolate's dad? Okay where is my dad? How can he forget my birthday? (note to self: make wedding extra splashy so he can make up for this).

10.30pm

Finally ready to attend a mini-work meeting. I must be crazy. On my birthday? I just wanna go home and reply all my facebook messages and texts. But Cheddar calls and it's just for 15mins so..........

1.00am

I am finally in bed with no dinner. It is such a lonely birthday. I cant wait for dark chocolate to arrive tonight. All the same PRAISE GOD for the gift of life, hope, love and promise!!

POST BIRTHDAY

So Dark chocolate is arriving soon. I got all my gear ready.

Tea lights and scented candles lit all over the house? Check

(Note to self don't burn the house down).

My beautiful flowers are in a vase? Check

Champagne is cooling. Check

Chinese dinner has arrived? Check

Fireplace is lit? Check

Dark Chocolate is at my door!! Bye bloggy.

I am off to really celebrate my birthday now!!!