Usually i blog about most things but myself. Something happened recently that made me look at myself. I am reflecting and need to get it all out so here it goes (fingers crossed).
All through secondary school i always felt like i was on the outside looking in. You know that parasitic feeling of feeding off emotions. Like you just watch people and when they laugh, you laugh. When they cry, you cry. But you never actively contribute to the conversation or the drama going on.
That's kinda how i felt. Some people took that quietness for snobbery but that wasn't true. I joined the school in JS2. When all the friendships, ties and clicks were formed. I truly felt lost. I was teased my first week about it and that only made me retreat more. I used to be the leader of the pack and now i was like a ship without a sail. I felt absolutely dreadful.
I am sure that's why i am so outgoing now. I am probably making up for those 5years in my life when i hid who i really am from the world.
There were a few ties i made. Bobby, Haitian, longlocks, Chinese eyes and Angelfish. They made life cool at time. Out them all i miss Chinese eyes the most (Maybe because i cant get to her anymore).
She was my seat mate at some point and that was when our bond was formed. I can't forget the day she came to class bursting with joy about her sister. See they were 7 kids (6 girls and a boy). She was the sixth girl so almost the baby. lol!!
Well let me get back. Hmmmm her sister had gone for a crusade and a life changing miracle had occurred. Her sister had received something that money could never buy. Suddenly her sister's genotype had changed. Imagine going form SS to AA. I could hear her amazement and near disbelief despite the living proof.
Either way whether she believe in miracles or not this was her shot at normalcy as well. 'I am going for that crusade when we are on holiday. It could be my chance as well', she said.
Then it hit me. My darling friend has sickle cell anemia. You would never know. She was so active. There was an unnatural habit of glucose drinking but then everybody liked glucose.
I had heard tales and fear gripped me but she was like a sun shinning brightly on a rainy day. I had to believe with her and support her.
I remember the day i went to see her at home. I wanted to meet her 5 sisters whom i had heard so much about. I loved them site unknown already. There was aje-butter unbiased asking people how to take a bus from ikorodu town to festac. My 1st ever jamming with public transport. How i made it i will never know. lol!!
She looked happy to see me which made up for it. We went on a long trip around festac to see all our classmates in the area. People there is nothing like getting with girl friends and having girl gist. (Some call it gossip but i call it productive conversation stress relief).
After SSCE i kept planning to go on a festac cruise again only for the news to reach me.
A crisis had occurred and Chinese eyes was no more. My world collapse and i raged. At what was fair in giving back one daughter only to take another away? I didn't have that many friends so why take away the one i had planned to be on my wedding train. It hurt a lot and tears fill my eyes in memory.
I just want to say that the agony never really goes away. It dulled to a throbbing ache. 10years on and the love is ever strong.
Chinese eyes thanks for being a silver lining in my cloud.
Thanks for being a sister when i needed one.
Thanks for all the notes you slipped me in class that made me laugh.
Thanks for living despite the odds.
Thanks for being my friend.
Why did my mind go down this road. Well a friend of mine is on a project about sickle cell anaemia. We have all lost someone or know someone lost someone to this so i think it is worth supporting.
Tosyn Bucknor :
From November / December to next year, i will be working on a project to create awareness for Sickle-Cell. I will be doing this by forming sickle-cell clubs in secondary schools and also talking with students there. I also hope to provide drugs for underprivileged sicklers in homes, and then show adult sicklers living well with the disease. This project is part of a LEAP Africa assignment but is also personal seeing as i am a sickler myself. I can't go this project alone and i was hoping that i could count on your support in anyway possible.I will be needing help with
- Fundraising
- Media
- Actual work of going round schools, orphanages, etc
- Actual work of getting stories of triumph from adult sicklers
- Prayers!
- Other ways i have not fathomed yet
Please send me a message on sharedazzle@yahoo.com if you are interested in helping.
There are more details out and i will make them available in another post. Join the band wagon guys because this is something that indeed does affect us all. Think about it. Even if it is just when you want to get married and are checking your partners geno. lol!!
