Take back what was stolen

It is so easy to loose track of yourself. I remember coming on here and complaining about being 12 stone!!

Well the watermelon diet worked for a little while but no exercise was my downfall.

This year on the 13th of January to be precise, unbiased weighed in at 12st7pounds (175pounds - 79.4kg).

All due to the fact that i just believed i looked fine and my body was always meant to be this size. Like it was destiny, age and my genes messing me up.

NO IT WASN'T!!!! It was all ME!!!

So then i get chatting to my pal the 'toaster' and saw how she was shedding pounds like crazy.

I asked for the secret and she asked me 'How bad do you want it?'.

I decided i wanted it really bad. I mean i am not being unrealistic. I just want my 2007 body back!!

So now i am on something called the 'Warrior diet' and i am exercising. Diet alone cannot guarantee sustained weight loss. It takes brutal physical punishment.

My punishment is i walk 1.5hrs every day coupled with some weight training video's to tone the muscles.

It is working!!!

Today my weight is (Drum roll)

73.5kg - 162pounds - 11st 8

That is HUGE for one month.

So i am so happy i am going off to go punish my body some more.

I am the master here.

I dictate what it can consume.

I dictate what it can look like.

I will not allow it to embarrass me any longer.

I am the captain of my ship and ruler of my destiny.

I!! No one but I!!!

GOD's REASON FOR BLACKNESS

First of all i did not write this. I have had it for over 5years now and came across it again. The words were so inspirational i decided to share. Don't let the first couple of lines get your down. Read to the end and stand proud in your blackness!!

Why Did You Make Me Black Lord ... Lord ... Why did you make me black?

Why did you make someone the world would hold back?

Black is the color of dirty clothes, of grimy hands and feet...

Black is the color of darkness, of tired> beaten streets...

Why did you give me thick lips, a broad nose and kinky hair???

Why did you create someone who receives the hated stare???

Black is the color of the bruised eye when someone gets hurt...

Black is the color of darkness; black is the color of dirt.

Why is my bone structure so thick, my hips and cheeks so high???

Why are my eyes brown, and not the color of the sky???

Why do people think I'm useless? How come I feel so used?

Why do people see my skin and think I should be abused???

Lord, I just don't understand... What is it about my skin?

Why is it some people want to hate me and not know the person within???

Black is what people are "Labeled" when others want to keep them away...

Black is the color of shadows cast...

Black is the end of the day.

Lord you know my own people mistreat me, and you know this just ain't right...

They don't like my hair; they don't like my skin, as they say

I'm too dark or too light!!! Lord, don't you think it's time to make a change?

Why don't your redo creation and make everyone the same???

God's Reply...

Why did I make you black? Why did I make you black?

I made you in the color of coal from which beautiful diamonds are formed...

I made you in the color of oil, the black gold that keeps people warm.

Your color is the same as the rich dark soil that grows the food you need...

Your color is the same as the black stallion and panther,

Oh what majestic creatures indeed!!!

All colors of the heavenly rainbow can be found throughout every nation...

When all these colors are blended, you become my greatest creation!!! >

Your hair is the texture of lamb's wool, such a beautiful creature is he...

I am the shepherd who watches them, I will ALWAYS watch over thee!!!

You are the color of the midnight sky; I put star glitter in your eyes...

There's a beautiful smile hidden behind your pain...

That's why your cheeks are so high!!!

You are the color of dark clouds from the hurricanes I create in September...

I made your lips so full and thick, so when you kiss...they will remember!!!

Your stature is strong, your bone structure thick to withstand the burden of time...

The reflection you see in the mirror, that image that looks back, that is MINE!!!

So get off your knees, look in the mirror and tell me what you see?

I didn't make you in the image of darkness...

I made you in the image of ME !!

Till next time blogville!!

VACUUM AND ATTITUDE

I was reading my Bible and all i could think about was science and attitude.

Now scientists have gone to great lengths to produce a perfect vacuum but the slightest shift and it is quickly filled.

There i was in 1 Samuel 17:14. The Spirit of the Lord had left Saul (When God rejected him as King) and moved to David (when he was anointed as King).

The bible says an evil spirit then came to torment Saul (Something had to fill the vacuum). This evil spirit would manifest in his behavior. He had violent bursts of temper and became unreasonable and downright sinful. So through some trick of fate David is brought in to play the harp and soothe the spirit within Saul.

In my opinion, it was not the music but the Spirit of God in David that made Saul's spirit back down.

Something always needs to take an upper hand and i wander what have i stopped doing in my live and what has replaced that time. Analyze your life and see if it is where you want it be and what you can do to get it on track.

Another puzzling thing is David's attitude.

I cant get over it so i will just list it out in points.

• God sent Samuel to anoint David as King over Israel when he was a mere boy. Then sends him back to watch his father's sheep.
• He is sent for to come and be a harp player (servant) for the King (Who he can choose to call an imposter.He does not but recognizes that God anointed him King also).
• He choose to serve him even if he did not always agree with him.
• He learned from being in Saul's court about being a soldier and king after all what did a Shepard know of kingship?
• He became friends with Saul's son Jonathan. He did not see him as a contender for the throne but as a brother. In his mind if God had called him to be king he would be and that was the end of it.
• He learned from Saul's mistakes and kept God as his king and tried his best to serve Him.
• His attitude is one of 'God anointed me as the NEXT King of Israel'. So he waited for over 20years to hear 'The King is dead, Long live the King'. This happened when he was 37years old.

David's patience and servitude is admirable and worth emulating. Next time my boss pisses me off, i will think of David and how my boss is there to push me to be all God wants me to be.

David only started running into trouble when he disobeyed the laws God had set out and started marrying foreign women. God did not put this law down to slight foreigners but as a way to stop the adoption of foreign cultures that will turn their hearts away from Him.

God also said marry one wife and he strayed from this as well. It's hard enough to handle one wife so i don't know why anyone will want another (Double trouble?). Anyways he had 8 official wives. It is worth noting that he married his second third and fourth wives while in the wilderness running from Saul. They were Ahinoam the Jezreelite; Abigail the Carmelite, (previously wife of Nabal); and Maachah(daughter of Talmai, king of Geshur).

I guess there is too much to be learned so i am going off to learn more but these are the main points for today.

• Be patient and wait for God's time.
• Listen to God's law. They are there for a reason and will guide you on the right path.
• Do not despise your days of humble beginnings. They will make you who you will eventually become.
• Have a repentant heart. Don't not be too proud to say when you have done wrong and correct the situation.
• Be humble in what ever position you find yourself and you will eventually be elevated.

Until next time blogville have fun!!!

12 STONE??????

Whatever you do don't stop caring about your weight unless you want to do it permanently. There i was going through my 'I don't care' phase and just for kicks climbed the scales.

12 STONE. MO GBE!!!

No wander my head looks so funny. Don't laugh but i have a really small head. I look like an alien!! Tiny head massive body. The hair styles are no longer helping so now i have to suffer and shed the weight abi?

Sigh!!!!

Okay so i was told by Tinkerbell to replace one meal a day with watermelon and that would help. Only problem is i never ate the thing before.

Now after one slice i am now meditating on the words like

'DON'T YOU DARE THROW UP'
'THIS IS FOR US REMEMBER?'
'YOU CAN DO THIS'.
'THINK 10 STONE'.
'THERE WILL BE LIGHT AND PICTURES AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL'.

Okay enough of the drama. I am going back to work now. I'll let you know if i throw up or loose any weight. Sigh!!

PS: The watermelon does not taste bad but anyone that knows me will testify that my stomach does not like new things at all. I think i might go see a shrink sef.

BOREDOM AND CREATIVITY

Hi Blogikins!!

So i just discovered something new. When bored just get up and do something. All of a sudden new ideas will fill you up like a well.

There i was bored out of my skull and no work to do so i decided to cook.

This was the original idea:

• Cook some moin-moin (bean cake).
• Do something with the veal i got last week.
• Cook the some mean Ila Asepo (Okra) complete with stock fish and ugwu.
• Boil some rice to keep in the fridge for easy use.

Cool and normal right? So i go to the kitchen, bring out the okra and veal to defrost. Wash some rice in hot water and dump in the rice cooker. Going well.

Now as anyone will know, bean flour will give you the same if not better taste in moin-moin without the extra hassle so i proceed to get my bean flour.

After mixing all those wonderful ingredients (10mins flat), i stared at my foil packs in distaste.

Why cant my moin-moin look stunning?

Why cant i just make it like a big cake and cut slices off when i need it?

Why cant i bake it in a moist oven instead of steaming it?

Well the answer was YES I CAN!!!

So out came the bundt pan.

I sprayed some sunflower on to prevent sticking.

Poured the mixture in.

Covered the top with foil paper to prevent drying out of my moin moin.

Plopped it in the oven.

(Oh yeah added a pan of hot water to the bottom of the over to try to give some moist atmosphere to the oven).

20 mins later is the result you see above. Do you like?

The story of the veal? Hmmm maybe later. lol.

Bye bloggy!! See ya later!!!

CONVICTION

Conviction i am told is a strong persuasion or belief. That's the word that came to mind as i heard Mickey say her vows. It was the strong conviction in her voice that gave me the assurance that this was a life bond being sealed here.

Most vows are said in an emotional shaky voice. Sometimes voices crack, others are nervous and some people screw up their lines but not my Mickey. Her words were not a monkey repeat of the priest.

They were words said from one human to another. They were life promises being made. They took marriage from being just a simple ceremony to being what it was intended to be. Two people who have a conviction that they are meant to ride the currents of life together making a promise in front of those important to them that they will do just that.

I wish Mickey and Jazz a wonderful life together. Thanks for the new insight into marriage!

IS THIS BETTER

Honey i am home!!

I thought long and hard. How i want to be back home.

No more power cuts.

No more daddy curfews.

No more bank security doors.

No more heat rash.

No more dust in my contacts.

No more credit running out like water.

Back home. yay! (At least until i landed). From 32° to - 5°. The cold ain't even as bad as i thought. I welcome it's cool embrace. It soothes my rash and calms my skin. The air feels good in my lungs.

Then i get home. Glory to Jesus. Somehow when every one's pipe froze, mine didn't. But i have no water. How can i not have running water?

And my car wont start. Ohh what can i say. I joys of settling down. Be right back with 2weeks worth of gist. lol!

WEATHER

Okay so lately my life has been like the weather. One minute i am happy and the next i am sad. I hate that yoyo!

I miss my mom. I miss my granddad and Jnr granddad. I miss my dark chocolate. Life i know is supposed to come with hurdles but when does the break come?

We pray and believe and believe and keep faith and sometimes our hope is dashed on the rocks. I wish when I prayed the 'NO' would be in neon lights so I don't go on for months, years wishing and hoping for that which would never come.

I remember praying for the day i would see my mum fully recover from that stroke, when i would see her walk again and totally happy without that shadow in her eyes. That day never came.

I always thought my grandpa and Jnr grandpa would be there at my wedding wearing matching 'Alari' outfits and beads as usual. But that is not to be.

All three are gone in the same year. You would think i get a break right? Wrong. Still the same old pressures of work, bills, family and emotions fighting for a piece of me.

I thought my tears were buried so deep inside me that they could never come out. I was so wrong. They creep up on me at the weirdest of times.

Sometimes i just feel so lost. I practice counselling myself in front of the mirror.

I try to be optimistic.

I try to keep my faith unshaken.

I try to keep my world unwavering.

I try to keep the pain and the anger away...

But i am only shutting it up and a box kinda like Pandora's. It is not working any longer. My box is leaking.

People often say that the darkest time is before the dawn. God it is so so so dark now.

Is my breakthrough here?

Is it coming?

Will it arrive soon?

I don't know how long i can hold on.

I am cracking badly.

I know Dark chocolate cant handle seeing me like this so i try to be strong for him because i can no longer do it for myself. So God if you can hear me, it's time to ride in on a white horse and save the day.

My heart is heavy. My heart is full. It is like the weather.

One minute happy, the other sad.

IN THE STORM

It's been a while. Anything that could happen has. But in the storm........



If all I had was one last breath
I'd spend it just to sing Your praise
Just to say Your name
If all I had was one last prayer
I'd pray it 'cause I know You're always listening
If I could live a thousand lives, bind the hands of time
I would spend every moment by Your side

'cause I, I know You're there, I know You see me
You're the air I breathe
You are the ground beneath me
I know You're there, I know You hear me
I can find You anywhere

If all I had was one more song to sing
I would raise my voice to make the heavens ring
If all I had was one last chance, I'd take it
I would stake it all on You

If I could raise up high and catch a glimpse of every eye
I would make them believe
What I feel inside

If I could live a thousand lives and bind the hands of time
If I could rise up high and catch a glimpse of every eye

I know You're there
I know You're there
I know You're there, You're there

ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST

I am so sorry bloggy darling.I have been dreading coming to talk to you. I didn't know what to say. I have been so mixed up about mummy gone. She has been like air to me. Always there and necessary.
So much so i must have just taken it for granted she would always be there.
Who will calm my nerves at my wedding?
Who is going to hold my hand when i am in labour with my first child?
Who will give child raising tips? Who will be there when i need advice?
I can no longer crawl in her bed when i need a comforting presence.
So to all the motherless children out there i will tell you what i discovered. God will do all those things.

He taught me something yesterday. As i was coming home i had this desperate pressure in my stomach and intestines. But i was 45 minutes drive away from home. By 25 minutes away i was sweating and shaking with the cramps. (Don't be grossed out you know what i am talking about. lol). Then i prayed that God keeps me till i see a loo and low and behold i see a filling station (15minutes from home).
I stopped my car prepared to ask for a loo and the pain and aching stopped suddenly so i took a leap of faith. I started my car again and continued on my way home. The cramped started again but i made it home.
That just showed me that when you are on a journey somewhere, it may be painful and seem like God is not responding to you but he is. Dont stop striving for what you want because you think you've found something manageable. God only wants the best for us.

Anyways i have been so busy and stressed lately. My Granpa (Daddy's dad) died like 3 weeks after mum died. Daddy has been so devastated. The responsibilities he inherited are humongous him being the first son and all. I worry about him and pray for him though. God wont make me an orphan that i know.

So now i have to go to naija for Grandad's funeral. But isn't that too many trips? Mum's funeral, grandad's funeral, xmas, mickey's wedding? Sigh. Not sure if i am doing them all. Time, finance and God will tell.

Ohhhhhhhhhhh and on a good note, i got my dress for mickeys wedding!!!! It's not brown but blue. What do you think?



Also Celebrity takes 2 is on again!! I am not sure if with all the travelling and funerals i can blog it all but i trust Linda Ikeji and Bellanaija to keep you posted.

Tata!! Xoxo!!

GOODBYE MAMA

Mama Unbiased died on the 15th of September 2009 (Aged 60).
How do i feel? Shocked!!

I remember her ready smiles followed by that quiet chuckle.

I remember taking my birthday cakes for granted because I knew she would always bake them herself and they'd always be the best.

I remember her smooth hairless skin and wandering why mine was so hairy.

I remember how secretly happy she was when I got scared in my own room and crawled into her bed at night.

I remember her teaching me how to cook and keep the kitchen spotless at the same time.

I remember standing in her room with the temperature at 2 degrees and freezing.

I remember her amazing decorating skill and wandering if I could match up.

I remember playing with her makeup, clothes and shoes.

I remember her days of camping out at the hospital every time I was sick.

I remember the tender care I got when I had chicken pox or that nasty boil at the back of my neck.

I remember nicking her ‘Bring down the glory’ cassette by Panam Percy Paul.

I remember days of long conversation and debates on just about anything.

I remember her strong unwavering faith in the face of opposition.

I remember how I learnt the littlest things just by watching and wandering if I could fill her shoes.

I remember being really proud of her and thinking that just by association her accomplishments were mine.

I remember the littlest and biggest things in a flash. It overwhelms me. It scares me. Is she gone? I am told she is on holiday and I will get to see her someday?

Is that true? Will I? What do I do between now and then?

And then I remember her favourite psalm. Psalm 121.

I look to the hills! Where will I find help? It will come from the LORD, who created the heavens and the earth. The LORD is your protector, and he won't go to sleep or let you stumble. The protector of Israel doesn't doze or ever get drowsy. The LORD is your protector, there at your right side to shade you from the sun. You won't be harmed by the sun during the day or by the moon at night. The LORD will protect you and keep you safe from all dangers. The LORD will protect you now and always wherever you go.